from love to consolation

I decided to go for an evening stroll; it was cold and rainy day. I walked about one block when I saw him passing, or maybe he was waiting..
Anyway it was not the beginning of the story which already had begun years ago.
Now we were feet apart, but as if we were not sharing the same sphere, but to each his own.
In that moment many memories flashed across my mind and I was very preoccupied. memories were trying to nest on my head one after another like drops of rain,i could skip many but it wasn’t the same with the letter..

It was entitled with false barren words “I will always love you”, enclosed with a flower and broken pieces of fake love, that no more has responsibility to current life.
How bittersweets each word tasted!!
Ink was not a good idea to form such words, which only could be replaced with tears, to become more realistic and authentic.
Each word in that letter could tell the whole story, the story of yesterday.
The day in which I received that letter was so rainy, and clouds were obscuring the sky. My heart told me to go out and check the mail box, although I have a concept, letters are never worth going through the rain for.
But you cannot compare feelings during love story to normal life. Always, there are exceptions.
I began to read it thoroughly with shivering fingers out of coldness, then I wrapped my fingers around it so tightly; by the last word “..Goodbye.” I put my hand upon my mouth, in order not to utter a scream; the scream of pain and shock, instead, it went through my whole body and veins and then its impact was stronger.
Everything ended with no explanations, just like that..

when one chooses to leave, and the other has nothing to do but trying to cut the net of past lies and decode question marks which are wrapping him so tight pitilessly. Then heart has to sink deep away from eyes and sharp glances and mind takes control in order not to be blown away with the wind..

Our eyes met; eyes with no gleam, which mirror our empty souls that one day were sparkling with love and kindling with sweet feelings.
At moments of intense absorption, all other objects in the visible world seemed to vanish leaving me and him.
Couldn’t make sure that our bodies were there, but our souls that have a great curiosity and intention, so they can fight and go through dark passages to continue living.

After I had turned from the stroll, my nostalgia led me to search for that letter and the flower.
My heart could not be mistaken to lead me directly to its place or recalling the odor of the flower..
I picked it up and held it close. It seemed to me, then, that I experienced a strange sensation, almost as if I felt a burning heat which was one day heat of love.
But till yet, neither ink nor tears were dried, and the flower turned from a symbol of love to consolation..



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